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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?